Welcome to Holland!

"If you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to go to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things…about Holland."

The link below is to a poignant essay written back in 1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley, the mother of a special needs child. 

In one way or another, EVERYONE will experience significant situations, outcomes, and realities in our lives that we not only did not expect, but also did not desire. 

Reinhold Niebuhr authored the popular quote: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

If we are powerless to change some things in our lives, we are wise to seek out and enjoy the beauty and special experiences available in Holland rather than sorrowing out our days that we are not in Italy.

http://www.ndss.org/resources/a-parents-perspective/

"Keep breathing. That's the key. Breathe!"

I recently read somewhere that if you can run a mile in 8 minutes, you're in pretty good shape and will likely live longer than people who can't. A few days ago I got on a treadmill to prove to myself that I could still do it. I could probably have run faster, but haven't been feeling great lately, so didn't go all out. By the way, this is no great accomplishment. Competitive marathoners run twice that pace the entire 26.2 miles of the race.

It's one thing to run an 8 minute mile on a treadmill or on a track. It's a different matter all together when it's through an airport weighed down with luggage, dodging fellow travelers walking in both directions or just standing in the way.

Allow me to set the stage for this true story. United flight 991 from Orlando was scheduled to arrive in Houston at 8:19pm. Passenger boarding for my connecting flight 356, the last flight of the day to Orange County airport ended at 8:40pm. I already knew this connection was going to be tight. Having had to spend the night at the Houston airport several years ago after missing a similar flight, I was highly motivated to make my connecting flight. I was relieved when the inflight status showed our inbound flight ahead of schedule. I did not envy the older lady seated next to me who was catching a 14 hour flight to Sydney, Australia, and then another to Melbourne.

As we were approaching Houston, the pilot announced over the intercom the bad news that, due to thunderstorms just east of Houston, Air Traffic Control was rerouting us to the south to approach Houston from the west. The pilot estimated a half hour delay. Oh swell!

During the moderately turbulent final approach, I was thinking that I should have inquired of a flight attendant whether it was possible for those with imminent connecting flights to de-board before those who don't.

After a very wind buffeted landing, I am was very happy to hear a flight attendant request all those who did not have an imminent connecting flight to remain seated until those trying to make connecting flights had exited. I had selected an aisle seat towards the rear of the plane where I hoped to have an empty middle seat next to me. (Note to self- on future connecting flights with short layovers, select a seat towards the front, even if it's a middle seat.) As passengers SLOWLY exited the plane, I noticed only ONE person remained seated and did not de-board in front to back row order. (Seriously, people? How selfish and inconsiderate!)

As I exited the jetway and looked up to see myself at gate C14, a helpful United employee was offering gate information for connecting flights. My misinterpretation of information on the flight status app had given me the false hope that my connecting flight was only a few gates away in the same terminal. I was shocked and disappointed when the agent told me my connecting flight was at gate E19 (not B19)  in another terminal accessible only by tram! She told me I only had 9 minutes.

 

 

 

I had the choice to either surrender and consign myself to another overnighter on the hard floor of that airport (airport designers seem to always choose seats with individual armrests so it's impossible to lie horizontal on a row of padded seats)...OR try to make the flight. So, I decided to try. 

Off I ran carrying a large, heavy briefcase whose shoulder strap kept repeatedly slipping off my shoulder, and a relatively small roller bag, which I alternated between right and left hands. 

I'm dodging, passing, and otherwise trying to avoid collisions with people walking in both directions, including carts traveling slower than me that were carrying elderly or disabled persons to their respective gates. As I'm tiring, I keep repeating Gimli's advice when he's trying to run (in The Lord of the Rings movie) in my mind: "Keep breathing. That's the key. Breathe."  (Oh, did I mention that I've been sick with a head and chest cold, hacking up lots of phlegm and suffering equilibrium and dizziness problems? Yea. ) 

After arriving at the central terminal hub area, there were two long escalators carrying non-climbing passengers upward to the tram area. Rather than wait for people standing on the slow escalator, I decided to save precious time and take the adjacent long flight of stairs two steps at a time. I received quite a bit of feedback from my tired leg muscles while doing this.

Fortunately, the wait time for the tram was only about a minute, and during the brief ride, I was able to rest and catch my breath. When I exited the train and continued running towards the terminal E gates, I was first to the empty downward escalators and was therefore able to quickly descend the elevation differential I had climbed using the stairs. 

 

The signs pointing to the correct set of terminal E gates seemed to go on and on before I began to see actual gates. I was disappointed that my destination gate was not one of the first ones. I had earlier turned off my smart phone to conserve its remaining battery, as it contained my only boarding pass. I remembered to pull it out and turn it on so it would boot up and be ready to use once I arrived at the gate. As my body again began to fatigue from running down the long corridors, and dodging slow mothers with wide strollers through narrowed hallway construction zones, I thought to myself, with MY luck, it will probably be the very last gate at the end of this wing of the terminal. Sure enough, as I approached an obvious dead end, my heart sank when I saw what appeared to be the last gate with no gate personnel and red lights displaying near the boarding gate door suggesting the gate was closed and the flight had departed. I kept running and was relieved to see around a partition wall another gate with no passengers remaining in the terminal but a pair of gate agents. I dropped my luggage and collapsed onto the counter while uttering the phrase "delayed connecting flight". The agent responded with the most welcomed words, "you made it". 

 

I struggled to catch my breath while fumbling with my phone to find the email containing the hyperlinks to my boarding pass. They asked for my last name, but didn't seem to understand or find my name at first. They must have said something about there being plenty of seats because I asked if they had any exit row seat vacancies. They responded only a middle seat. I told them I would gladly take it for the extra leg room. I had inquired about being relocated to an exit row on the other 3 flights of this trip but each time was told only for a $100 upgrade fee. They must have had compassion for the pathetically panting passenger in front of them and gave me a boarding ticket for exit row seat 21B. As I briskly walked down the jetway and onto the plane aisle, they were both devoid of passengers, who were all already seated. Oddly, my assigned seat 21B was already occupied by a man who had an identical boarding pass for the same seat. The flight attendant said I could sit in empty exit row aisle seat 20C unless another passenger showed up with a boarding pass for that seat. As it turned out, I think I was the last passenger to board the plane. The 3 hour flight from Houston to Orange County was long, but uneventful, arriving at a time equivalent to 1:30am in the time zone I woke up in that morning.

These kinds of physically and mentally stressful events are one more reason why I'm grateful I don't have to travel frequently for work and don't envy those who do. My two cross country trips this month to Boston and Orlando were more than enough air travel for a while.

50 in 52

Following the 2016 election, our country is divided and many people genuinely hate one another. More than ever before, we need to see one another differently and understand how much we have in common.

Back in 2008, a working mother named Dafna Jenet had a mission "to change the mirror we use to reflect who we are as a society”.

She quit her job, liquidated her 401k account, and over the course of the 52 weeks of 2009 travelled to all 50 states and the Distric of Columbia searching for problem solvers and idea generators. She interviewed and captured their stories on video, posting them to her website for everyone to see. The video interviews may remind some who have seen it of the TV show "Story Trek" on BYUTV. Dafna is now a Colorado state representative-elect.

These video stories were created with the intent to help us see that who we are as a society has little to do with what you hear in the media or read in the news. It has little to do with movies and rock stars. It has to do with ordinary people who make up the society we all live in. They live in your community. They share the same challenges and have similar dreams as you do. They are the ones who raise their hands and say, "I have this problem and so do other people. I’m going to solve it for myself and for them."

For an unknown reason, some of the states do not have videos to choose from on their page. Enjoy the ones that do.

Watch. Be inspired. Take action.

http://50in52journey.com/

What can men do against such reckless hate?

THIS POSTING MAY CONTAIN CONTENT THAT MAY BE DISTURBING TO SOME READERS

My perky and innocent 13-year old granddaughter is learning about the 9-11 terrorist attacks in school. She is asking questions of her grandparents about the worst attack by a foreign enemy on American soil in our nation's history- the worst terrorist attack of all time that killed nearly 3,000 people, which occurred several years before she was even born. Its hard for her to wrap her mind around such an event. Its hard for those of us who remember that day to wrap our minds around that day which changed the world forever, little less explain it to someone else.

Since 9/11, Esquire Magazine (which I generally do not read and do NOT endorse) has been one of the few publications that has been willing to do in-depth articles with photographs about the people who "fell" from the twin towers before the buildings imploded. This topic and associated photos have been taboo for many journalists. Esquire has published another such story dated 9/9/16 entitled "The Falling Man", which you can search for and read if you are so inclined. This article is raw, not because the photos are gory, but because it is so detailed and experiential, including such chilling details as heart wrenching quotes of eye witnesses or the sound that echoed between the buildings as each of the hundreds of people impacted the ground. The article also attempts to analyze why our society and media choose to look away and not be reminded of that intensity of that day. Here is a link to a brief Wikipedia article about one of the more famous photographs taken of people falling to their deaths from the twin towers. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Falling_Man

In my opinion, the photographs and videos of planes being flown into these skyscrapers and of people making the horrific choice to escape from the inferno on top floors of these buildings by jumping is at the heart of remembering the gut punch that collectively hit our country that horrible day. It is uncomfortable and PAINFUL, especially for anyone who lost a family member or friend in any of the 9/11 attacks. For some, even after 15 years, it is still too soon and the wounds are still too raw to be reminded of the AWFUL events of that day.

The Esquire article accurately points out the similarities between such 9/11 "witnessing" videos and historical photographs and the photographs of piled up corpses, clothing, and reading glasses from Nazi World War II death camps in which millions of people deemed undesirable to Nazi leaders were exterminated.

Probably in the years immediately after WWII, some of the relatives and friends of those who were murdered in death camps would not have wanted to see such photographs. However, as time has elapsed, the desire to not be reminded of the pain of such events has evolved into an intense desire to remember those who died and to remind ourselves and others of the end result of such extreme hatred and depravity. Many friends, relatives, and even survivors themselves now save their money and make plans for a once-in-a-lifetime pilgramage to personally visit these historical sites with infamous names to ensure that neither they nor their posterity nor the world forgets what was done there.

In the years immediately following WWII, when grass had not yet grown over the fresh graves of hundreds of thousands of US military men and women who forfeited their lives for the freedom of Europe, many may have been alarmed and offended by the graphic depiction of fighting portrayed in a movie like "Saving Private Ryan". Yet many years after WWII, when those who yet remain alive from this era are referred to as "the greatest generation", the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences nominated the film for 11 Academy Awards and Steven Spielberg's won a second Academy Award for Best Director, with four more Academy Awards going to the film.

In the movie "The Lord of the Rings- The Two Towers", as his garrisoned people are about to be overrun and annihilated by Saurman's army of 10,000 Uruk-hai orks, King Theoden says to himself and Aragorn (the future king), "So much death. What can men do against such reckless hate?" 

If I may be so bold as to hazard an unoriginal answer: REMEMBER! HONOR the lives and memories of those who were murdered by people who were inculcated as children to HATE those who are different. REVERE the heroism of first responders who chose to enter the twin towers to help others and the "Let's Roll" passengers on Flight 93 who saved the lives of many others. Do NOT fight hatred with hatred. Be proactive in protecting ourselves against an enemy whose extreme ideology teaches that is not only permissible, but praiseworthy to massacre innocent men, women, and children.  Teach the children what they are prepared to receive about the scary realities of the world in which we live, but teach them as early as possible to be grateful for the foundational principles of liberty, limited government restrained by checks and balances, and the right to pursue happiness that our forefathers bequeathed to us. It is up to us to build upon their work and sacrifices and make a once good nation better.

A variation on a famous speech given by President Abraham Lincoln more than 150 years ago seems a fitting end to this blog entry.


Twelve score years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. 

Now we are engaged in a great war of ideologies, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can endure. We are physically and virtually met this September 11th to remember a terrible atrocity against the people of this nation and of the world. We have come to commemorate those awful events and celebrate the lives and hallow the memory of those who died. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, WE can not hallow their memories. The brave men and women who, served, struggled, and died here have hallowed this day far above our poor power to add or detract. The world may little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for US the living, rather, to BE DEDICATED TO THE UNFINISHED WORK which they who served and died here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for US to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we TAKE INCREASED DEVOTION to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- THAT WE HERE HIGHLY RESOLVE that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

Live Boldly. Live Well. Just Live.

Seventy years ago in 1946, director Frank Capra created a movie entitled "Its a Wonderful Life" about a good man who struggles with injustices that happen to him in spite of his best efforts to live a good life and help other people. In a moment of despair, he decides that life is no longer worth living and wishes he had never been born. He is granted his wish of seeing what life what be like without him. What finally helps George Bailey change his mind about wishing he had never existed is not that his own problems went away, but rather the realization that "each person's life touches so many other lives and when they aren't around, they leave an awful hole". This movie, which has become one of the premier classic films of all time, aims to teach all of us, that even when we experience adversity, setbacks, or injustices, not withstanding the opposition in all things that must needs be, life should and can be wonderful.

Present day Hollywood has just produced a new film entitled "Me Before You" that deals with the same theme as "Its a Wonderful Life", namely how to respond when life gives you unwanted hardships and adversity. Apparently, Hollywood, society, and morality has changed a lot in 70 years. "Me Before You" is about a quadriplegic who decides to end his life via assisted suicide. Not withstanding the film's tagline of "Live Boldly. Live Well. Just Live.", the film attempts to portray that assisted suicide is a bold choice that should be honored and supported, in part, because the girl he loves would be better off without him. Click here to read a review of "Me Before You".

In contrast to Hollywood's and society's trend of embracing assisted suicide when life is hard, I would like to again point to the example of Jack Rushton, another very good man I have mentioned before in my blog. Like the fictional character named Will in the "Me Before You" film, Jack suddenly became a quadriplegic due to a tragic accident that permanently damaged his spinal cord. Unlike Will, Jack also had to rely on a mechanical respirator to breath for him the rest of his life. After an all too understandable period of denial and despondency, Jack, along with his amazing wife Jo Anna, chose to face their sore trial with courage, determination, gratitude, a positive attitude, and a healthy dash of self deprecating humor...and in doing so, positively influenced the lives of many, many people. I highly recommend reading Jack's blog entitled "Its Good to be Alive". Me Before You? Not so much.

The Secret of Christmas

I recall a Christmas about half a century ago (mid-1960's) when my father Jay C. Hess was serving as Branch President while we were stationed at the United States Air Force base (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bitburg_Airport) near Bitburg, Germany(1964-1967). He was concerned that one of the new families in the Branch with young children had been unable to afford any Christmas, so on Christmas night my siblings and I were "strongly encouraged" to give up one of our nicer new toys we had received earlier that same day to give to this family we did not know. I did so very grudgingly with many tears...until we had driven far out into the country to a small house at the end of a dark, frozen dirt road where the family lived. 

Living in off-base housing was known as "living on the economy".  When we first arrived in Germany, our family had lived on the economy in the town of Bitburg for several months while awaiting a vacancy in on-base apartment housing. Although there were other children at the park near our rented row house, they were German, spoke only German, and did not treat us kindly, so we had only our siblings to play with, not unlike the situation this family was in, except they had no nearby park in which to play.

While my father went to assess the situation, my sister Heather and I stayed in the car. This time by ourselves, and the bleak, uninviting surroundings finally got me thinking about someone besides myself and empathizing what it would be like to live so far outside town away from other children and to receive NOTHING for Christmas. Something magical (spiritual) happened to me. I realized, for perhaps the first time, that following the example of Jesus in sacrificing of oneself to give selfless service to others not only is the right thing to do, but it really DOES feel better to give than to receive. 

When my father returned, he reported that by peeking in their window, he was able to determine that they had somehow enjoyed a Christmas after all. As we returned home with the gifts and food we had been prepared to gift to needy strangers, the bitter cold winter night did not feel quite so chilly to me as I pondered why I felt so good inside even though we retained the gifts we had been willing to part with. Was I relieved that I didn't have to give up my cherished new toy? Yes, but as I recall, my attachment to the toy was less than before I had been willing to give it to a "needy" child I thought may have little or nothing.  In the years to come, I would grow to recognize the special spirit we felt that night as a feeling of love and inner peace that passeth understanding which always attends those who strive to minister to the needs of others, while simultaneously giving the gift of self to Him whose birth we commemorate and celebrate during the Christmas season.

That Christmas night grew up a little bit, having discovered the secret of Christmas, and received my first of many lessons on living a service centered life. I am grateful that my father taught me this lesson on that Christmas long ago, because soon thereafter the tables were turned and he would be absent from our home for 6 consecutive Christmases that he spent in North Vietnamese prisons, while extended family, friends, and neighbors often performed kind and thoughtful acts of service for our "needy" family. 

I am trying to follow my father's example of thoughtful and compassionate service.

I love you, Dad.

I Will Try The Faith Of My People

The purpose of this blog entry is to share scriptural evidence that God intendeds that we should walk by faith in this life, rather than with a perfect understanding of all things in our lives.
 
We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ...
4th Article of Faith


According to your faith be it unto you. Matt 9:29

And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in God. Matt. 11:22

The just shall live by faith. Romans 1:17

For we walk by faith, not by sight: 2 Cor 5:7

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. For by it the elders obtained a good report.

Heb 11:1-2

But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.
Heb 11:6

My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.

James 1:2-6

Commentary:Without explicitly using the word "faith", the Prophet Lehi's Dream of the Tree of Life illustrates that when circumstances in our lives cloud our path so that we cannot clearly see which way to go, that we should rely on feeling, recognizing, and exercising faith in the familiar iron rod representing God's guidance, and cling to it while pressing forward toward a destination which is not presently discernible through our natural senses.

And I saw numberless concourses of people, many of whom were pressing forward, that they might obtain the path which led unto the tree by which I stood. And it came to pass that they did come forth, and commence in the path which led to the tree. And it came to pass that there arose a mist of darkness; yea, even an exceedingly great mist of darkness, insomuch that they who had commenced in the path did lose their way, that they wandered off and were lost. And it came to pass that I beheld others pressing forward, and they came forth and caught hold of the end of the rod of iron; and they did press forward through the mist of darkness, clinging to the rod of iron, even until they did come forth and partake of the fruit of the tree.

1 Nephi 8:21-24

And now as I said concerning faith—faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true.
Alma 32:21

And behold, the Holy Spirit of God did come down from heaven, and did enter into their hearts, and they were filled as if with fire, and they could speak forth marvelous words.

And it came to pass that there came a voice unto them, yea, a pleasant voice, as if it were a whisper, saying: Peace, peace be unto you, because of your faith in my Well Beloved, who was from the foundation of the world. And now, when they heard this they cast up their eyes as if to behold from whence the voice came; and behold, they saw the heavens open; and angels came down out of heaven and ministered unto them. And there were about three hundred souls who saw and heard these things; and they were bidden to go forth and marvel not, neither should they doubt.

Hel 5:45-49

And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.
Ether 12:6

Commentary: I find the following scripture especially relevant as it demonstrates that the Lord sometimes chooses to not reveal all things and to not provide the answers to all questions so that our faith will be tested and strengthened. 

And now there cannot be written in this book even a hundredth part of the things which Jesus did truly teach unto the people; But behold the plates of Nephi do contain the more part of the things which he taught the people. And these things have I written, which are a lesser part of the things which he taught the people; and I have written them to the intent that they may be brought again unto this people, from the Gentiles, according to the words which Jesus hath spoken. And when they shall have received this, which is expedient that they should have first, to try their faith, and if it shall so be that they shall believe these things then shall the greater things be made manifest unto them. And if it so be that they will not believe these things, then shall the greater things be withheld from them, unto their condemnation. Behold, I was about to write them, all which were engraven upon the plates of Nephi, but the Lord forbade it, saying: I will try the faith of my people. (Book of Mormon, 3 Nephi, Chapter 26:6-11

Remember that without faith you can do nothing; therefore ask in faith.
D&C 8:10

But inasmuch as there are those who have hearkened unto my words, I have prepared a blessing and an endowment for them, if they continue faithful. I have heard their prayers, and will accept their offering; and it is expedient in me that they should be brought thus far for a trial of their faith.

D&C 105:18-19

Thus was the gospel preached to those who had died in their sins, without a knowledge of the truth, or in transgression, having rejected the prophets. These were taught faith in God, repentance from sin, vicarious baptism for the remission of sins, the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands...

D&C 138:32-33

To our absent grandchildren

May 24, 2015

Dear Sawyer, Cypress, Ellington, and Keats:

This is your grandfather Hess, your father’s father. I want to write you a letter in case I do not live to see you again in this life. In spite of being diagnosed with colon cancer in 2007, I am currently cancer free, fifty-nine years young, and hope to live a very long life; however, life has a way of throwing unexpected surprises our way. Therefore I want each of you to know that your grandmother Hess and I love and miss each of you very much. We were grateful to have seen Sawyer several times up until he was a toddler. Sadly, we have never seen Cypress, Ellington or Keats.

We do not know why your father has chosen to break off all contact with his parents and all four of his siblings: your Aunt Katie Hodges, Uncle Clayton Hess, Uncle Jayson Hess, and Uncle Zachary Hess.  You have more than a dozen Hess family cousins who would like to get to know you. We have tried repeatedly to make contact with your family and to see you, but our efforts have been ignored or rebuffed. We’ve left Christmas and birthdays gifts on your porch and are uncertain whether you ever received them.We know you have moved, but do not wish to risk further alienation by again attempting contact with your parents.

We hope that at some time in the future when you are old enough to act for yourself that each of you will develop a desire to learn about the other half of your extended family and contact us. We anxiously, but patiently await that day when we can begin to develop a relationship with each of you, our beloved grandchildren.

Your loving paternal grandfather,

Cameron Hess
CameronHess@gmail.com

Parental experiences with the birth of Thomas Judd Hess

Excerpts from Cameron's and Kim's Family Journal relating to her pregnancy and delivery with our first born son, Thomas Judd Hess, whom WE LOVE VERY MUCH!

Excerpts from Kim's November 25, 1978 journal entry:
Cam and I have been married 8 months now (a little more)...So far we haven't been able to get pregnant, but we are still hoping and praying. I'm settling down a lot more and am not so uptight and frustrated about all the thing that "must be done". We sure hope we can have our own (children) and not adopt.  Both of us love marriage and each other very, very much. It gets better as we help each other, understand each other, and communicate together.


Excerpts from Kim's January 10, 1979 journal entry:
Alot has happened since I last wrote. I guess the most exciting is that Cam and I are expecting a baby. It’s been hard for me to adjust because I basically don't feel very well. I've been nauseated most of the day with headaches in the morning (no throwing up however) and I've been extremely tired! I can sleep 12-13 hours straight! The worst thing though is that my emotions are haywire! I cry alot and am a grump alot but things are getting better- not so sick and lots more energy. We're due August 15th, so I’m about 2 months along.


Excerpts from Cam's March 3, 1979 journal entry:
These last couple of months have been really tough ones for Kim and I.  She just hasn't felt very well. She gets tired and worn out quite easily, and then gets depressed and irritable more easily. Her emotions and hormones have been wrecking havoc with her state of mind and with her health. We just try to be patient and understanding and hang on.
   Several weeks ago we both went to the doctor and had a nice treat. The Doc whipped out an electric stethoscope and we got to hear the baby's heart beat! It sure was special! Now we really know that something is down there.

Excerpts from Kim's March 18, 1979 journal entry:
Well, my morning sickness is just about over. After the second month it got worse, not better. I threw up, headaches, tired, terribly emotional and depressed. Now it’s "just" headaches and still the weird emotions. I do seem to have more energy; however, but am still very tired by the end of the day.
   I'm getting bigger now (although I'm only 4 months along). I have two dresses and two pairs of pants I can wear now. Like most pregnant women, I feel as big as a cow!
   Despite all the hardships of pregnancy, I am very excited (but scared) about having a baby and having a new arrival in our home. I love children very much, but am afraid I won't be a good mother (since I've never been one before)
   Mom Riggs is crocheting a gorgeous baby afghan for us and I am, also. If we have a girl, we think we'll call her Katie and if a boy, Thomas Judd (Judd). Cam doesn't really like the boy's name, but so far he hasn't come up with a better idea.
   My Pregnant Symptoms:
-nausea (all day)
-Some throwing up (when Bendectin not taken)
-Headaches (especially with stress)
-Rectal pains (sharp pains shooting to the rectum)
-Burning sensation on the upper right side of my stomach.
-IRRATIBILITY
-Depression
-Sore breasts
-Sharp pains down legs
-tired!
-go to the bathroom often!
-False labor, especially at night (Braxton Hi8cks)
-Backache

Excerpts from Kim's March 25, 1979 journal entry:
Last week Cam and I went shopping for cribs. We don't have any furniture in our house that isn't used, so we bought a used crib at Deseret Industries for $25. It needs some paint and a mattress and cute little decals put on it, but it’s very sturdy. We couldn't pass it up for that price. I don't know where were going to put it in this little apartment, but we'll think of something. (We ended up putting the crib in our teensy kitchen, across from the sink. Because of our tiny apartment, for a while we only half joked about putting the baby in one of the drawers that are built into the wall in our bedroom. Baby crying? Just close the drawer!)

Excerpts from Kim's April 8, 1979 journal entry:
While sitting in Relief Society last Sunday, I felt a little thump in my stomach. Then I felt it again and still again. It finally dawned on me that my little baby was kicking me! That was an exciting moment for me and it endeared me to unborn so much. Now he/she kicks every day and lets me know that it’s there and well and active!

Excerpts from Kim's April 19, 1979 journal entry:
I've been feeling much better lately.  Cam and I are getting really excited about the idea of a new baby. I guess we're pretty set on the name Kathryn (Katie) if it’s a girl.

Excerpts from Cam's April 22, 1979 journal entry:
Kim and I have been getting excited about the baby, who is four months off. We think it will be a she. She kicks a lot now. We have been trying to decide what type of delivery method to use. The vote now is tending toward the birthing room at LDS Hospital. Things could change. I sure love Kim for her persistence and patience with her pregnancy. I want to help her as much as I can.

Excerpts from Kim's April 27, 1979 journal entry:
Well, I went to the doctor on the 23rd and he was a bit surprised to see that I had grown 7 centimeters in 4 weeks. I'm only 5-1/2 months along (almost) and I'm already 30 centimeters. We are either going to have a very large baby or twins. MY tummy is beginning to feel very cumbersome and I am starting to waddle a little. It’s a little hard for me to sleep at night, too. Cam and I are both very excited about the baby, though. According to the doctor, the heartbeat is very strong and all seems to be healthy.

Excerpts from Kim's May 22, 1979 journal entry:
Today I went to LDS Hospital to have an ultrasound taken. The doctor was concerned because of my size (33 centimeters @ 6 months) and history of twins in the family- that maybe we had two babies inside me! Well, it revealed only one. Every time the technicians tried to take a picture and make it clearer, the baby moved. They were surprised that the baby is so active. Anyway, they got some pictures of its whole little body and determined that it was right on schedule for its size and that it was more than likely a girl. Cam and I are very happy about that, but the grandmas were a little disappointed (I think). Cam really has known all along that it was a girl and he loves the idea. In some of the pictures I could see her eyes, nose and mouth. It was very special. Her head is down with feet up towards my diaphragm. She punches me constantly with feet and hands. Cam and I got to watch her through a machine that shows the baby in motion. Her hands were always moving. Cam was such a proud Papa and my love for him and our baby grew immensely today.


Excerpts from Cam's May 27, 1979 journal entry: Our baby is really starting to whomp Kim. Twice during Sunday School Kim got kicked so hard that she flinched and nearly fell off of her chair! The doctor told her to sleep on her side so that the baby's weight wouldn't be on her kidneys. So now she has to change from one side to the other every hour or so, or she goes numb on whichever side she is laying on.

Excerpts from Kim's June 10, 1979 journal entry:
As I sit here writing, I have a beautiful spirit of peace with me. Cam is lying on the couch, asleep. (He has been vomiting with the flu) I like to just sit here and look at him and feel all the warmth and love in my heart for him. We have such a special marriage. We love each other so much and try hard to be kind and loving to each other. The spirit is usually here, too. If we have a disagreement, we don't stay upset too long for it brings an unhappiness alien to our home. We can always talk things out, too. One aspect of our marriage I appreciate alot is the respect we have for one another. We don't ever put each other down or expect to change each other thru criticism. I truly love Cameron more each day, because he is the one who has taught me thru example how to be a better friend and marriage partner to him. With this kind of love in out marriage, we hope and pray that we can create a happy home for our little baby-to-be.

Excerpts from Cam's June 25, 1979 journal entry:
Kim has had so much trouble sleeping the past few weeks that we now move the mattress into the front room on the floor so she can have a firmer sleeping support. The baby really goes on rampages now. It will kick and wiggle so hard that it is very noticeable- in fact it’s difficult not to notice! We are both eager and excited for the upcoming event.


Excerpts from Kim's July 1, 1979 journal entry:
I only have about 6 weeks until the baby is due to be born. Cam and I have started our Lamaze classes. (we rode on my motorcycle- what a sight!) They teach relaxation, mainly. The relaxation is supposed to help take concentration off pain and put it on relaxed breathing. Cam is going to be my coach. He talks to me while I breathe, encouraging and praising my efforts. He also helps me relax by rubbing my arms, abdomen, etc. I do exercises everyday to help strengthen the various muscles used in labor. I' scared still to have the baby, but I'm excited to have it here.
   Mom and Shellie gave me a baby shower last week. It sure was fun. The guests tied a beautiful orange quilt for me and painted on some really cute baby bibs. Most of the gifts I got were for a baby girl. So I guess now we've got to have a girl. (After an ultrasound exam, the doctor was confident the baby would be an 8-pound girl. The baby turned out to be a nearly 11pound boy. So much for doctor's expertise!) I also got a bed-type carrier. It actually is a bed that we can fold up and take in the car. I also got a bag to carry all the little things I'll need to take with me if I take the baby out somewhere. (a diaper bag?)
   The government and our economy are in very bad shape. Gas is going up to almost $1.00/gallon. Food is going sky high and buying a house is almost impossible. Cam and I worry a lot about the kind of world we will be raising our children in. Our faith is being tried a lot because the world is also so very, very wicked.

Excerpts from Kim's July 17, 1979 journal entry:
I've only got about 4 weeks until the baby is due. However, the doctor feels that maybe it will come early because it's getting so big. I haven't gained weight for about a month, but the baby is still growing. I'm getting very anxious for the baby to come. Cam is, too. We now have our crib ready and most of the baby's clothes. I've had two baby showers and two more to go.
   I sure get tired and usually need a short nap during the day. The baby has dropped a little and I guess that means the baby will be here soon. Cam and I are practicing our Lamaze exercises. I sure hope that they help in labor! I'm a little scared and anxious for the whole thing, but I can't call it off. I do love this baby very, very much already.

Excerpts from Cam's July 22, 1979 journal entry:
Well, this week has really been a whopper! Thursday in our Lamaze class, we saw a really neat childbirth film. I have been excited for our baby to come ever since.
   Early this morning Kim started having contractions that varied in duration, frequency, and intensity. We would have had no trouble recognizing them as being false labor except that they lasted from four in the morning until ten o'clock. Kim felt weak and tired all day, with sporadic contractions now and then.
   We had a bit of rain yesterday, but it didn't really decide to rain until today. It was very badly needed and appreciated. Its helped keep things cool, which makes Kim happy.
   Most of the day Kim felt dull, achy pains, as if she was about to start a period. Tonight her ligaments really tightened up and her false labor resumed for a while. We are both very anxious and very ready for the baby to come.
   Even though she is not due til August 15th, she's just gotta come early. The baby is getting too big! This false labor wears me out just by lifting my hopes and then letting them back down again. I'm impatient!...and tired. Good night.

Excerpts from Kim's July 25, 1979 journal entry:
I've been teaching my vocal students all day and have really enjoyed it even tho' I'm worn out...Tomorrow I go to the doctor. I sure hope he says that things are getting much closer. It's getting very difficult for me to get around without getting very tired. I have to take a nap during the day and am often up 4 or 5 times at night to go to the bathroom. My feet, lets, and hands swell up quite a bit even though I drink lots of water. I'm hoping that my muscles will tone back up fast enough so I can sing in the Grand National Teton Festival on August 23rd. If I can recuperate I will be singing the alto solo in the Mahler 2nd Symphony. It's a golden opportunity, so I hope I can take advantage of it...As is obvious, right now I'm concerned about the birth of our baby and my future in music. I guess time will tell. I want to be a wonderful mother, but I also want to still build my music that I love so much! Somewhere there has to be a happy medium.

Excerpts from Kim's Tuesday, July 31, 1979 journal entry:
Well, I went through another 4 hours of false labor last Sunday. This time the contractions were more regular and did get more intense, but as soon as I went to sleep, they stopped. Oh well. I went to the doctor yesterday and after I told him about my false labor, he wanted to do a vaginal exam. He found out that (my cervix) is quite a bit effaced and dilated to 1 cm. He also said that the baby had definitely dropped and it could come anytime. He thought it would come in about a week. Unfortunately, if it comes this week, my doctor won't be able to deliver it because he just left for a week's vacation.

Excerpts from Kim's Sunday, August 12, 1979 journal entry:
No baby yet! I did have 7 hours of false labor again on August 1st, but of course to no avail. My due date is August 15th, so I've almost hit that. I've been a little depressed about the Tetons lately. I'm suppose to sing up there August 23-25. Pro Musica has its concert the 23rd, then we wind up the whole festival with the Mahler 2nd Symphony. I looked at the brochure about the Festival and all the instrumentalists are from major orchestras all over the country. The conductor, Ling Tung, has conducted many of the major orchestras here (USA) and in Europe.   It just looks like maybe I won't be able to go. Originally, I was supposed to do the alto solo in the Mahler, plus a quartet in a Schubert number and a trio in a Vivaldi number. Oh well, I guess they'll be other times and opportunities. I don't resent the baby; I just feel sad that I can't have both this time around.
   It's trying very hard to rain. I love it. The heat this summer has made me go a little crazy, so the rain really helps calm my soul down and makes me feel physically more comfortable.
   Yesterday, Cam and I went for a truck ride up and down Farmington Canyon. We stopped at Bountiful Peak and had a little lunch. The ride was very bumpy but I didn't go into labor...oh well. These last few days Cam and I have spent a little more time together than usual. I guess we realize we'll never be alone like this again. I've loved it.

Excerpts from Cam's August 19, 1979 journal entry:
Four days overdue and still no baby! We thought things were getting underway Friday night, but that fizzled out. We go to see the Doc tomorrow and I'm curious to see what he says. Kim and I are both very anxious and rapidly becoming discouraged.

We found out last night that Kim's best friend's (Cindy Henderson) mom died Thursday night. Cindy and her husband Mark are planning to move in with Cindy's Dad to help take care of him. They are trying to let us move in when they move out in a couple of weeks. We've looked at their basement apartment and we really like it. Its also cheaper than a 2-bedroom apartment here in the University Village Married Student Housing. We will miss our friends here, but we'll just have to make new ones.

Excerpts from Cam's August 21, 1979 journal entry:
Just before attending the funeral for Cindy's mother, Kim and I went to the doctor's office. He stripped her membranes and we all decided that if the baby hadn't come by the morning of the 22nd, that it would be wise to induce Kim. Since then she has lost most of her mucus plug and had some sporadic contractions. Heather got home from Hawaii and Kim's parents hurried home from their vacation in Idaho to be here.
   On the way home (from dinner at a restaurant with extended family) our fan belt broke. We finally found a gas station that had the right belt, but only after the car had overheated. The only problem was that neither the station nor us had any tools. After trying to mess with it for a while, I called our neighbor Scott Rogers to come down with some socket wrenches to help us out. He was outside hanging up clothes when I called and stepped on a large, rusty needle which imbedded itself so firmly in his toe (which already had a painful ingrown nail) that he had to really pull to get it out. Anyway, about this time, Kim started having some hard, regularly spaced contractions. She had to go to the bathroom, so I took her around to where they were. Finding the Women's bathroom occupied, we went into the Men's room. She had some real painful contractions for a few minutes, but then eased up. I had this terrible thought run through my mind of Kim having our baby in the Men's Room at the Chevron Station at Ninth South and State Street! What a wild night! Anyhow, Scott finally came limping in and we had the belt on in no time flat. You should have seen the look on the kid's face that was running the place when I asked him to hurry and ring up the cost of the fan belt because my wife might be in labor! There were all sorts of strange people and things going on down there. We got home in one piece and Scott and his wife Peggy came over and Scott helped me give Kim a blessing. It was a real nice one. Kim was blessed that she would have strength, stamina, and the Lord's sustaining spirit. She was told that she'd enjoy many years of happiness and joy and would be taught how to cope with the hard times. The Lord inspired me to tell her that he is pleased with her for her willingness to bear his children and that she'd be blessed for it.
   Kim is still having what appear to be strong false labor pains now. We'll just have to wait and see if we make it till 6am tomorrow morning.  We decided on Kathryn, if it’s a girl and Thomas Judd if it’s a boy (calling him TJ or Judd). Busy day tomorrow. Whether you're a Katie or Judd, we are very anxious to welcome you to our family and home. We love you.

Excerpts from Kim's August 29, 1979 journal entry:
Right now I'm sitting on my mother-in-law's bed looking at my week-old son Thomas Judd Hess. He's an absolute doll. He weighed 10 pounds, fourteen ounces at birth hand as 23 inches long. He's very alert and will look right at you when you speak. He loves to be talked to and loves to be cuddled and stroked. He hardly fusses at all (only when he is hungry). The other day he got colic (and cried most the night). I didn't know what to do, so I kept feeding him thinking he was hungry. Well, that only made him feel worse. (I ate too many tomatoes that day, I think) He loves to look around and smiles quite often in his sleep and at me when he's awake. He has lots of dark brown hair and looks quite a bit like me. He isn't fat at all, but is very well built, like his father. (He has a large chest, broad shoulders, big beautiful hands, and long legs.) His cry is almost pleasant to listen to and has a deeper timber to it. Cam and I love him very, very much. (He can also already hold up his head)
   I guess I'll record my labor experience. Cam and I went to the hospital at 6:00am on August 22, 1979. The nurses induced my labor at 6:30 with ha pitocin drip. For the first 5-1/2 hours I went without any medication. Cam coached me through each contraction and I used my Lamaze techniques. When I got to the hospital I was dilated to 3 centimeters, 85% effaced, and the baby was at zero station. Because of this, I assumed I'd have a fairly short and easy labor. Ha! When I was dilated to 4cm, they gave me a light epidural to take the edge off the hard contractions. For the next 2 hours I handled those contractions. For the next 2 hours the anesthesiologist gave me too much epidural, so I had a nice rest. After that, I still hadn't dilated past 5-6cm, so the doctor kept me on lighter medication so it wouldn't slow labor down. By this time, I had developed a fever and had a problem with very low blood pressure. (I kept almost passing out) Cam kept helping me breathe in a bag. The nurses had forgotten to catheterize me, so I finally had my bladder emptied about 15 hours after labor started.  By this time my body was kind of giving out and my spirits were so low. I also was very scared because I knew that the baby wasn't moving. It seemed like I had been in pain forever, almost like time stood still. It was also frightening because I knew that no one could take the pain away or stop the vents to come. I just didn't think that I could do anymore. Well, at about 9:30pm the doctor checked me again. He looked very grave and I knew that no progress had taken place. Then he decided to take the baby by cesarean section. He felt that was safer in case the baby got stuck in the birth canal and would need a messy forceps delivery. The anesthesiologist gave me a big dose of medication via my epidural to numb me below the waist. In the surgery room, my hands were strapped down and a sheet placed in front of my face. Cam came in and held my hand. He also watched the operation. "Little" Judd was born at 10:04pm August 22nd, 1979. After that I felt sick and threw up, as they began to suction me out. The second time I threw up, they put me out for the rest of the surgery. When Judd was born, he let out a good cry, but quit crying when he heard my voice.  Recovery (from the c-section delivery) has been difficult, but that too will pass.

Excerpts from Cam's September 3, 1979 journal entry:
 Kim has gone into great detail of our birth process. I'd like to say that it was really a marvelous experience (for me) and it has brought new ties into our marriage that has brought our love to a new height. Helping Kim with each painful contraction and tense moment during labor and watching the doctor remove our son from Kim's womb was an experience that is indescribable with words and which is permanently engraved in my mind. The feeling of holding our new born son and sharing his first moments of life was an experience that I have never had before, but one that will reappear with each child in the future. All I wanted to do was hold him in my arms and try to make him understand ho much his mother loves him to have gone through what she had to do to help being him into my arms. I love both of them more than I can express. I wouldn't have missed sharing that experience with Kim, standing beside her for all those long hours, giving her all the support I could muster for all the riches, power, or glory this world has to offer. Our tiny home is bursting at the seams with love, which might be one of the reasons we are moving in a week or two.

Excerpts from Kim's September 6, 1979 journal entry:
About three weeks before Judd was born, I was sitting in our rocking chair. I wasn't feeling well (of course) and was sitting in the dark, rocking. I was waiting for Cam to return home from night school. I may have been watching TV- I don't remember. When I looked up I saw a young man standing by the crib. I'm sure what I saw was an image and not a body of flesh and blood. The image only lasted an instant, but I remember the details of the man quite well. He was about 19 years old or so. He had a short haircut like a missionary and his hair was kind of brown with a tint of red in it. He had freckles and was tall, but not as tall as Cam. He looked like Cam, but had a rounder face and a rounder nose. I don't remember the color of his eyes, but their shape was like Cam's eyes. He had on a white robe. Even though the robe had no buttons or zipper, it was closed so the chest was not showing. He was also barefoot. The image frightened me because the young man (or older teen) looked disturbed or concerned about something. It was frightening because he was already looking at me with that concerned look. I thought maybe something was going to go wrong with my labor or delivery, but as I've thought about it, maybe it was Judd looking in oh his Mom and was concerned at the pain I was going through. I'm not positive it was Judd appearing to me before his birth, but I guess I'll know as soon as Judd gets to be about 19 years old! (as Judd reached that same age, Kim is more certain that the visitor was Judd)

CAUSES. METHODS. GOALS.

I share the following non-original ideas because they are true and have the potential to bless lives.

Goals apply direction and focus to the causes we hold close to our heart. Regarding causes that our close to our heart- we should strive to frequently remind ourselves that great sorrow comes when we give first class loyalty to second class causes- because in the end, those causes betray us. The opposite is also true, great happiness comes when we devote ourselves to first class causes.

Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Matt. 6:21

I like what this author has to say about the importance of the system or method we choose to help us strive to achieve our long term goals.

http://jamesclear.com/goals-systems

Dane-geld

In light of Sony Corporation's recent capitulation to cyberterrorist demands to cancel release of a stupid comedy movie about North Korea and write-off a $100 million investment, I share the following:

Danegeld, literally translated "Danish tribute", was an unreasonably outrageous extortion shake down by Viking raiders during the Middle Ages in return for a "promise" to not exact the even worse consequence of having your city or country plundered and burned. Naturally, once the ransom is paid and the enemy is emboldened and strengthened, the next ransom demand is always exponentially higher. (Reference Somali pirates.)

English writer-poet/novelist Rudyard Kipling wrote an appropriately named poem called Dane-Geld that warns of the dangers of capitulating to these kinds of demands.

Dane-Geld
A.D. 980-1016
It is always a temptation to an armed and agile nation
  To call upon a neighbour and to say: --
"We invaded you last night--we are quite prepared to fight,
  Unless you pay us cash to go away."

And that is called asking for Dane-geld,
  And the people who ask it explain
That you've only to pay 'em the Dane-geld
  And then  you'll get rid of the Dane!

It is always a temptation for a rich and lazy nation,
  To puff and look important and to say: --
"Though we know we should defeat you, we have not the time to meet you.
  We will therefore pay you cash to go away."

And that is called paying the Dane-geld;
  But we've  proved it again and  again,
That if once you have paid him the Dane-geld
  You never get rid of the Dane.

It is wrong to put temptation in the path of any nation,
  For fear they should succumb and go astray;
So when you are requested to pay up or be molested,
  You will find it better policy to say: --

"We never pay any-one Dane-geld,
  No matter how trifling the cost;
For the end of that game is oppression and shame,
  And the nation that pays it is lost!"

Not withstanding the poor management decision by Sony to make "The Interview", their even worse decision to capitulate to the demands of cyberterrorists who are likely working for North Korea will embolden rogue nations and unethical groups world-wide to use cyberterrorism and blackmail as tools to attack other nations, companies, groups, and individuals who they perceive to be opposed to their agenda.


The nation (or society) that pays extortion will be oppressed, shamed, and eventually be destroyed. 

Planning for Long-Term Care and End-of-Life Decisions

No, this is NOT a feel good topic, but its important, so please read it anyway.

While commuting to work or traveling busy freeways, many of us listen to traffic reports on the radio or monitor smart-phone apps that leverage first-person reports of actual conditions to educate or warn those who follow after to warn them of potentially dangerous conditions or serious delays ahead.   

I can recall several occasions where people I know who had recently been through the experience of helping a loved who needed long-term care or who needed to make (of should have made) important decisions relative to end-of-live planning, have found the experience so difficult that they went out of their way to warn others to better prepare for this phase of life.

On one occasion a human resources professional at work compiled useful information and shared it with interested employees in a meeting to discuss these topics.

In the past year or so our regional church organization (LDS stake) has asked several subject matter experts to prepare educational and resource information to be shared with church members related to the topics of striving for self-reliance, fostering reasonable expectations for receiving assistance from others, discussing options for long-term care giver services, important legal and financial considerations for incapacitation and death,  and available community and government social services.

I have had the opportunity to be associated with coordinating this effort and would like to make some of this information available to others so that it might benefit as many people as possible.

What follows are some of these educational and resource materials being shared with local church leaders and members. While some of the resource information is specific to cities in central Orange County, California the principles are universally applicable and similar resources are likely available in your cities, county, and state.

SOCIAL SERVICES EDUCATION (outline of one hour presentation)

OVERVIEW
 The family is the first line of assistance
 Overcome obstacles and hold a Family Council with parents or older family members to discuss and agree upon financial and health care decisions
 Do it now. Procrastinating until a crisis occurs makes decisions much harder.
 If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.
 Do not expect yourself or others to run faster or labor more than you/they have strength.
 The Lord has promised to help us bear up under our burdens that they will feel lighter and become easier to bear.

LONG TERM CARE GIVING SERVICES
 Adult Day Care Centers
 Home Health Care
 Independent Living
 Residential Care
 Assisted Living
 Memory Care
 Skilled Nursing Facilities
 Hospice Care
 Acute Hospital
 Care Management
 Insurance: Private, Medi-cal, Medicare
 Family Councils are critical for making consensus care decisions
 Checklist for services or facility evaluation

LEGAL AND FINANCIAL CONSIDERATIONS
Proper planning will provide you and your heirs protection against excessive costs required for any kind of convalescent health care needs and will also provide for effective and efficient passing of title of your assets.

If we fail to plan, the legal option for both financial administration and health care decisions is a court procedure known as Conservator-ship, which is expensive and burdensome.

 Estate Planning for Incapacity (~50% likelihood)
 Financial Needs
 Asset durable power of attorney document (if advised)
 Living Trust
 Health Care Decisions
 Health Care Directive (Health Care Power of Attorney document)
 HIPPA medical information release
 Right to Die document
 POLST (Physician’s Order for Life Sustaining Treatment)
 Estate Planning for Death (100% likelihood)

COMMUNITY AND GOVERNMENT SOCIAL SERVICES
  verbal discussion of available resources (content available on stake website)



INTRODUCTION FOR SOCIAL SERVICES EDUCATION

In 2013, our stake president recognized a regional need for improved leader and member awareness about the importance of individuals and families preparing for the long term care that they or a loved one will likely require as they advance into the later stages of life or deal with a long term disability.

He called a member who had extensive first hand experience with these issues to spearhead the compiling and publication of resources and training that ward leaders and members can utilize to help arrange for long term care for elderly and disabled persons. Since she has received an honorable release, we are all indebted to for her dedicated service, as well as our Stake Social Services Specialists, some of whom you will hear from today.
 
An increasing percentage of our stake members are either single or seniors. In ten years, 20% of county residents will be elderly, with 70% of them requiring some kind of care.
The same principles of provident living and self-reliance that motivate emergency preparedness and food storage efforts should also inspire preparation for our own senior years and those of our older family members. Some critical considerations for this important planning are:
 Do NOT procrastinate until a crisis occurs.
 Since the Church teaches that the family is the first line of assistance, one of the main goals of today’s meeting is to prompt adult children and their older parents to have the important Family Council conversations necessary to arrive at consensus decisions about senior care choices that become much more difficult if left until a moment of crisis.
 Some elderly persons just assume that adult children and church members can and should shoulder complete responsibility for their care. “After all, since I took care of my kids when they were young, it’s their duty to take care of me when I’m old, right?.” “And isn’t the Relief Society motto “Charity Never Faileth”? We’ll talk more about this in a minute.
 Some factors that can complicate this important planning are:
 Many individuals and families feel overwhelmed just dealing with the here and now and therefore procrastinate planning for the future
 Dysfunctional family relationships make uncomfortable conversations and decisions even more difficult
 Its not uncommon for family members to be geographically dispersed
 Meager financial resources or excessive debt may limit some options
 Unwillingness to recognize the difference between short term needs and long term disability or elder care
 there may be unrealistic optimism (denial) about one’s ability to remain self-reliant or for children to care for parents long term without assistance (share example of relative)
 There may be inflexibility by both the caregiver and care recipient about changing the status quo. This includes, but is not limited to, considering options such as the sale of assets (such as selling a home or utilizing a reverse mortgage), use of funds intended for retirement or inheritances to pay for part or full time care services, evaluating a variety of care services and resources, temporary or permanent relocation of care giver or care recipient, willingness to move to a care facility that separates them from their pets, etc.
 improper and unrealistic expectations that Church leaders or members should shoulder responsibility for care of the elderly or disabled before individuals and family have done their best to provide such care themselves or have availed themselves of available professional, community, and government resources.
 Unwillingness of elderly to be honest with their doctors about their symptoms or heed their doctor’s recommendations. Uncooperative or non-communicative seniors, combined with HIPAA laws prevent other family members from knowing the gravity of their loved ones situation until a crisis occurs.
 Families are often dismayed to discover that a simple do-it-yourself will or a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) order may not provide the intended legal or medical results.

(D&C 10:4) Do Not Run Faster or Labor More Than You Have Strength
Families who choose to provide long term care for aged family members should share that load across multiple family members and avail themselves of other resources to make the service sustainable.

Most Relief Society sisters in our stake do not have the kind of discretionary time that their forebears did a generation ago.
o Time volunteered to help needy families is too often concentrated on the Bishop and members of the Relief Society Presidency, whose families repeatedly sacrifice as they serve.  Service is important, but there should be reasonable limits and the load should be shared by many ward members.

The gospel of Jesus Christ does teach us to be charitable to others, to serve selflessly, and to bear one another’s burdens that they may be light. However, after personally taking care of the beaten stranger’s short term needs, the good Samaritan did not personally take care of the injured man’s long term needs. He enlisted the help of others so that he could continue to meet his other responsibilities. We need to be considerate of one another and not place excessive expectations on those who are called to serve in key callings or those who have volunteered to help.

As in the story of the Savior accompanying his disciples on the road to Emmaus, the Lord walks besides us and teaches us, but cannot take our journeys for us. Scriptural examples demonstrate that usually our burdens are not removed, but rather we are taught and strengthened to enable us to bear up under our burdens that they feel lighter and more manageable.

We will next hear from three members of our Stake Social Services Committee who are subject matter experts in their respective fields related to social services
 will discuss care giving options, in and out of the home
 will address legal and financial planning considerations.
 will discuss available community and government resources
The presentations shown today, as well as additional Social Services related resource files, are available on the Regional Links tab of the OrangeStakeLinks.webs.com website. (currently items 17-22)
 

John W. Hess and the Prophet Joseph Smith

 

(click on photo to view large version)

While reading family histories on the website (http://spokt.com/hubs/933304) belonging to the John W. Hess Family Organization (my 2nd great grandfather), I came across the following stories told by John's descendants of his (John's) interactions with, and testimony of, the Prophet Joseph Smith.
  

Excerpt #1
"I've studied the life of Joseph extensively, and I can see why they loved him so. I'm personally a believer in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, in Joseph Smith, his teachings, and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. As I read of the experiences that my ancestors had with Joseph, it only strengthens my resolve to be dedicated to the Church he was directed by God to restore & organize. When I hear nonbelievers who try to assassinate the character of Joseph Smith, I have to smile! All I have to do is read what my family had to say about the man, to know what he was really like. He was a simple, down to earth man in some ways, but he was also a Prophet of God!

Here's an encounter John W. Hess had with Joseph: "Elder John W. Hess, who was for a long time President of the Davis Stake of Zion, has given exceedingly interesting reminiscences of the Prophet Joseph. When Elder Hess was a boy, about twelve years of age, his father rented a house at Richmond Landing, or, as the place was also called, Pomeroy's Ferry. There the Saints landed who came by water from Kirtland to go to Far West. And there the Prophet Joseph, in company with his brothers Hyrum and William, and others, thirteen in all, stopped as they were returning from laying out the city of Far West. They stayed with the family of Father Hess for thirteen days.

The Prophet was studying Greek and Latin. He would study intently until he was very tired. Then he would come out of his room and engage in a game, perhaps it would be "hide and seek," with the children, showing the childlike simplicity which characterized the life of that great man. And oh, how he was beloved by every member of that family!

Brother Hess says he has never seen anyone else that he has loved as he loved the Prophet Joseph Smith. He can remember of Joseph's taking him on his lap at different times, and of putting his own arms around the beloved Prophet's neck and being embraced by him; and that, being thus clasped to the noble, generous, mighty heart of the Prophet, gave him a heavenly sensation never to be described or forgotten.

Upon one occasion, the little boy heard some of the brethren talking of the strength they felt they possessed in resisting temptation, and he never forgot what the Prophet said to them; it was: 'Brethren, if you get onto the Devil's ground, he will handle you! Keep away from him, the farther the better!'

When the Prophet went away from the home he had found with Father Hess, you would have thought there had been a funeral in the family, the children all loved him so! This is as Elder Hess remembered those days and events." (Taken from the Improvement Era, Vol V pg. 943. This event took place in 1838).

Ann Eliza and her folks, the Addison Everett family, were actually neighbors to Joseph in Nauvoo, Ill. She delivered milk to Mother Smith, as the Prophet's mother was called. Ann Eliza told her children that she saw the Egyptian Mummies that were buried with the scrolls that the Book of Abraham in The Pearl of Great Price was translated from. Mother Smith kept them stored in a large cupboard. Ann Eliza described them as being preserved or "cured" with spices. One of these mummies was said to be the Pharaoh's daughter, the same that rescued Moses in the rushes. She also begged Mother Smith to show her the Urim & Thummim, but of course she couldn't, but she did show her the peep stone that the Prophet had. (See the life sketch of Elizabeth White Hess).

On one occasion, the Everetts had purchased a milk cow with a young calf. Ann Eliza was out enjoying the fun of seeing the young calf frisk around with its tail stuck straight up in the air. The front gate to their yard had been left open, and the calf made a break for it into the street! In a state of alarm she ran after the animal to bring it back. It refused to cooperate to return to the yard. Just then the Prophet Joseph came along riding his favorite steed. Seeing that little Ann Eliza's efforts were futile, and the calf wasn't going to cooperate, he rode after it and drove it back through the gate into the yard for her. The great Prophet was never too busy to help a child! Ann Eliza was but a little girl of nine at this time, but this left a vivid impression with her.

The Prophet visited the home of the Everetts on several occasions on Church business. Ann Eliza's father, Addison Everett, was a prominent member of the Church in Nauvoo, Ill. It was not unusual for Joseph to take the little hazel-eyed Ann Eliza upon his lap. It was with feeling of unusual pride that she related the fact to everyone she met, that when she was a child, she dangled from the knee of Joseph Smith! (See appendix 9, life of Ann Eliza Everett).
James Steed, James H.'s Grandfather, actually traveled from Nauvoo, Ill. to New Orleans with Joseph and George A. Smith to meet a boat loaded with Saints who had sailed from Liverpool England.

So as you can see, the Prophet Joseph and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints were a key element in the lives of all these people. They followed the Church he restored through all the persecution and hardships to the mountain west and helped settle the territory."

Excerpt #2
"Joseph was truly a Prophet of great visions. He had a peculiar, almost supernatural aura about him. John W. Hess noticed this when Joseph stayed in his home a few years later, "there was something heavenly & angelic in his looks that I never witnessed in the countenance of any other person. During his short stay I became very much attached to him, and learned to love him more dearly than any other person I ever met." (See Appendix 1, memoirs of John W. Hess).

Excerpt #3
Again quoting from John W. Hess, "About May 1, 1836 my father and his family moved to the State of Missouri and we settled in Ray County of that State, near Pomeroy's Ferry, or Richmond Landing on the Missouri River, where we lived on a farm which we rented from John Arbuckle, until the expulsion of the Saints from Caldwell County." The appalling events they witnessed there were grievous.

As you recall, the prophet Joseph was a house guest of the Hess family during this period. The mob even kept a close surveillance on Joseph while he stayed in their home. Here’s what David Hess had to say, “I was a mere child,” says Mr. Hess, “and do not remember the incidents but have been assured by my mother that the Prophet Joseph, and Patriarch Hyrum Smith, while waiting for a ferry boat to go down the Missouri River, spent several days at my father’s house, and that the Prophet often held me in his arms. She also related that on certain morning, at an early hour before breakfast, while Joseph and Hyrum were there, the Prophet, with his hands behind his back, was walking to and fro across the floor (obviously he was nervous about something), when a knock came at the door and a stranger said, ‘I understand that the pretended prophet, Joe Smith, is here and I would like to see him.’ The Prophet turning to him quickly responded, ‘I am the man.’ At these words the stranger hurriedly departed.”
(See Appendix 1, Statement of David Hess)

 Excerpt #4
In the Autumn of 1838, Joseph the Prophet and others came to my father's house near the Richmond Landing and stayed there thirteen days. Father was the only Mormon in that part of the country. At that time Joseph was studying Greek and Latin. When he got tired of studying, he would go and play with the children in their games about the house, to give him exercise. Then he would go back to his studies. I was a boy then about fourteen years old.
He used to take me upon his knee and caress me as he would a little child. I relate this to show the kindness and simplicity of his nature. I never saw another man like Joseph. There was something heavenly & angelic in his looks that I never witnessed in the countenance of any other person. During his short stay I became very much attached to him, and learned to love him more dearly than any other person I ever met, my father and mother not excepted.
The next time I saw the Prophet was at Richmond Court House, in chains after the surrender of Far West. I used to walk six miles every day to see him during his stay in the Richmond Jail.
Although a boy of about fourteen years, I became convinced beyond doubt that he was a prophet of God, and that testimony has never left me.
(The Juvenile Instructor, XXVI (15 MAY 1892) PAGES 302-303)

This is an artist's depiction of 14-year old John W. Hess sitting on the knee of the Prophet Joseph Smith.








(click on photo to view large version)

TED

TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, and Design

It started out as an invitation-only conference for elite decision makers that has morphed into a non-profit organization whose goal is to identify and share good ideas. The following website shares videos of the 20 most popular TED talks. 

http://www.ted.com/playlists/171/the_most_popular_talks_of_all

All of these are interesting and several are exceptional (IMO). The one I want to highlight the most is presentation #17 by Shawn Achor about the science of happiness entitled "The happy secret to better work". I hope you will watch his 21 minute presentation, but if you believe you don't have time, here is his talk in a nutshell.

"Normal" is only average.

The lens through which you choose to view the world shapes your reality and your happiness.

The absence of disease is not health.

Only 25% of success is determined by IQ. The other 75% is determined by your level of optimism, your social support, and your ability to view stress as a challenge instead of a threat.

Traditional Model

Work Harder==>Success==>Happiness

New Paradigm

Happiness/Positivity==>Productivity==>Success

How to be Happy?

Do these things for 3 weeks to rewire your brain and develop new habits.

1- Gratitude

2- Journaling

3- Exercise

4- Meditation

5- Random acts of kindness

I haven't yet watched all of the Top 20, but I can recommend these TED talks:

1- How schools kill creativity

11- The surprising science of happiness

12- The power of introverts