baby steps

In the comedy movie "What About Bob?", Richard Dreyfuss plays a psychiatrist named Doctor Leo Marvin who struggles to "treat" a multi-phobic patient named Bob played by actor Bill Murray. As part of his one-size-fits-all therapy plan, Doctor Leo sells Bob a copy of his new book entitled "Baby Steps", which apparently advocates an incremental approach to dealing with and overcoming one's problems.

I'm finding myself feeling that my recovery from surgery and regaining my strength and a degree of normality is happening at about the pace of faltering baby steps. This is especially challenging and frustrating when I not only want to be walking briskly or running again, but urgently feel the need to be doing so, especially in regards to going back to work. Instead, I am constrained by my own body to only taking baby steps, sometimes even backward steps. This situation reminds me of the first time I tried to walk after surgery. I felt like I could walk just fine until I tried to put one foot in front of another and nearly toppled over sideways.

I find myself struggling to get and stay warm. Yesterday, I resorted to taking a nap (another non-optional change my body is forcing on me) while wearing a parka and lying on the dining room floor in the rays of the sunlight shining in through the patio window. Last night I went to bed cold with extra blankets and woke up drenched in perspiration.

One of the biggest adjustments is attempting to deal with my 'new and improved' digestive tract. Without being overly graphic, I'll just say that I am sure hoping that the doctor is right when he said things would settle down somewhat after a few weeks. Or did he say several months?!

This experience is continuing to help me develop greater patience and and increased compassion for others who struggle with health problems.