Some of you will be happy to know that I'm finally beginning to act my age.

Journal Entry for July 4, 2008

My world is fundamentally different today than it has been up to this point. I turned one of the unknown number of remaining pages in my book of life and started a new chapter today. I knew this day would eventually come and I have actually looked forward to it in some respects. I believe that most fathers look forward to the day that their sons' gradually increasing strength and abilities finally reaches and exceeds the aging father’s gradually declining strength and abilities because it signals that those sons are becoming men and preparing to successfully assume the responsibilities and rigors of adulthood.

I remember Indian leg wrestling with my father when I was as a child of 8 or 9. Occasionally he would intentionally let me win by flipping himself over backwards when our legs would come together on the count of three. I knew that I was probably not really beating him, but it was fun anyway. We both knew that the balance had shifted when, upon his return from Vietnam, we got to wrestling and as a teenage of 17 I was able to pick most of his body off the floor and hold him upside down by his ankles.

I use to wrestle with our four boys when they were younger. They loved to play Pile-on-Daddy and gang up on me. As they grew into their teen years they tried very hard to pin me in a one-on-one contest. Sometimes the action got wild. Kim disliked this and usually left the room. I decided to call a halt to this practice when it was no longer a friendly rivalry and frustration turned to anger and people were getting hurt and the Spirit left our home.

After Judd returned from his mission, he worked hard to increase his upper body strength by doing push-ups. He worked until he was able to do more push-ups than I could. Then he challenged me to an arm wrestling contest. He was able to beat me left handed because that is his dominant hand, but I was still able to beat him right handed. Never the less, that was a milestone, a right of passage for him to be able to beat his father at a feat of strength.

Both Judd and Clayton are much smarter and intellectually gifted than their father. They are both in the process of combining these gifts with hard work to pursue and achieve goals that I could never attain. Katie is a hard worker and pays attention to details. Jayson also takes pride in working hard and has a good sense of humor. Zachary is very gifted artistically, much like his mother. I love each of our children and am proud of their accomplishments.

A tradition and right of passage for the males in our family has been climbing 14,500 foot Mt. Whitney, the highest mountain in the continental United States, located in the Sierra Nevada mountains in California. Judd climbed it with me the first time I climbed it when he was in his early teens. When Clayton was old enough to go, he and Judd and I tackled the mountain again. Clayton achieved his goal of standing on the summit. Jayson accomplished this feat and then some when he and a group of youth and leaders from our ward (church congregation) climbed halfway up, then came down due to a member of the group becoming temporarily separated from the group, then climbed to the top and back the following day- a very impressive accomplishment. Zachary made the trek to the top of Whitney in the summer of 2007 with a group of youth and leaders who hiked for a week through the southern Sierras and then hiked up the backside of Whitney to the summit and then down the traditional Whitney Portal trail. This was very difficult for Zach and he got sick several times, but I believe that this was a turning point for Zach that gave him confidence that he could do anything he put his mind to.

Our Stake (group of church congregations) has a tradition of sponsoring an Independence Day flag raising ceremony and patriotic program, preceded by an early morning 5K (a little more than 3 miles) run. I’ve been participating in the run for several years. Occasionally I am able to talk one of the boys into also participating, but its usually like pulling teeth. My finish times have gradually improved until last year I was able to finish in a very respectable time of 22:05 and finished 7th overall and 1st in the 50+ age category. I knew that I was not in as good of shape this year, partially because last year I trained for and completed three double century bike rides, plus a week-long 500 mile ride just before the 5K, and partially because of the strength I lost due to the cancer surgery and recovery towards the end of last year. My goal for this year was to finish around 25 minutes. Earlier this week I asked Zachary if he was going to run with me this year in the 4th of July 5K and he said “no because he was performing in the program”. I knew that he could do both, but am slowly learning to not push back against such decisions. Therefore, I was surprised when Zach announced last night that he was planning on participating in the 5K. He has occasionally run on the treadmill at the gym, but certainly has not been training for the race, and neither have I. His dancing and improving eating choices have gotten him into good shape. I could tell during the first few hundred yards of the race that I was not going to be able to maintain the same pace as last year. During the first half of the race, I struggled to catch and stay with two able runners, one of whom is a High School athlete and that other was a runner in his upper 40’s whom I had beaten by several minutes the year before. At the midpoint, I started to fade and could not keep up with them. I was tired, breathing hard, and had to really focus to keep from stopping. I forced myself to just put one foot in front of the other. After rounding the final corner and heading down the home stretch, I was really struggling. My legs were very weak and wobbly and I was bending over at the waist with each step nearly falling over because my legs would no longer hold me up. With only 200 yards to go, I had to stop and sit on the curb to keep from falling on my face. Several runners kindly asked if I was OK. I assured them that I was, even though I now realize that I was on the verge of complete exhaustion. After several minutes of rest, several individuals helped me get back up onto my aching legs and I struggled to continue. It was then that I noticed a group of people gathered around a car. Someone said something about the car having hit a girl. I wondered if I should stop to render aid, but quickly decided that I was in no shape to help anyone and there were plenty of people already there to help. I didn’t see who had been hit and do not recall recognizing anyone helping. I staggered towards the finish line one painful step at a time, but I was so “out of it” that I stopped short of the finish line on the lawn of the church. After a minute or so I realized my mistake and limped the few remaining yards across the finish line and received a piece of paper containing the number of my order of finish. I didn’t even bother to look at it, but headed for the nearest shade, where I crashed for the next 10 minutes or so. When I finally looked at the number, I was disgusted that it said 64 or some number close to it. I used that number to check my time and found that my time was in excess of 32 minutes, which was much worse than I anticipated. I reluctantly accepted a 3rd place ribbon for my age group, which I was awarded only because there were so few runners in the age group. Notwithstanding all my problems, I apparently still finished ahead of the guy in his 70’s! (who deserved his own age bracket!) Even though Zachary's legs are sore, he is not still limping with every step like his father.

In talking to Zachary later I found out some very interesting information. Even though he had needed to stop and power walk several times during the race, he passed me while I was sitting on the curb. He admitted feeling exhilaration at passing me and decided not to stop to help since others were already doing so and he also “knew I was OK because nothing ever hurts Dad”. Moments after passing me, both Zachary and the close friend he was running with (and who was directly in front of him) were both hit by the elderly driver (who turned out to be a member of our ward on her way to the patriotic program!). Her side view mirror brushed Zach’s arm and then the front of the car hit and knocked down his friend, who was very fortunate to not have been run over. Paramedics were called just to be on the safe side. She was strapped to a backboard with an uncomfortable neck brace and taken to the emergency room for a check, but is now back home bruised and sore, but apparently OK.

So, my youngest child has now beaten his father at something that I felt I used to be pretty good at. Even though he did not officially finish the race due to his stopping to render aid to his friend, since he passed me so close to the finish line while I was unable to continue, he is awarded a technical win over his old man. To show you just how much of a consummate professional Zach is, even after witnessing his close friend be hit by a car and staying by her side until aid arrived, he was able to proceed and do a wonderful job performing the song “I’m Proud to Be an American” during the patriotic program AND when the microphone went berserk a few sentences into the song and caused a sustained, ear splitting noise that required him to start over. He calmly walked to a different microphone, waited until the CD was restarted and started over and performed expertly as if nothing at all had happened that morning that might have ruffled his feathers.